Friends or Bitches in sheep's clothing?

I recently had to decide to let go of a friend. This was due to a lot of things which we weren't seeing eye to eye with. It was getting to a point where we were basically being very foul with each other.


Don't get me wrong, I ain't rude. If a person asks a question I will answer if I know it. I don't ignore, I avoid. We had shared a lot together and I was very much enjoying this persons company, but it got tiring. Not because of being too demanding but because EVERYTHING was getting totally and utterly appalling. Work, Family and Friends, I had no idea what was happening.


I knew I was changing but I figured my friends wouldn't tire of talking to me about things they wanted me to change. BUT for someone to tell me that they are fed up with talking to me about it was horrid. 


I had always thought friends would be there no matter what, but I have recently receded and worked on being more intimate with one than with many. I noticed that I had a few I would consider "quality" friends and most just bitches trying to be close.


Past few weeks, some peeps in the office have noticed that I am usually with my good friend Sol and that I go home early or at least leave the office early. This is due to restricting myself with being too close with people who would end up hurting me in the end.


I am getting to a point, where I want to delete my Effing' Facebook account and quit my job, just to avoid all the drama. But then again, drama is my middle name.


Need to rest and forget about all this shit... 

To renew or not to renew

Today, I got a message to send a letter of intent to the HR of my office. This is to show that I want to have my contract renewed. The thing is that I'm confused, as to if I really want that.

Jitters

Tomorrow is another work day, but it'll be the first day since I was absent last Friday. Crappy things have been happening in work and I feel that last Friday might have been the last straw. I was absent last week friday due to being sick and all that may lead me to getting fired or not renewed next contract. 


Honestly all I can do is pray and accept whatever is coming. I can always try to look for another job. I know that with Gods help I will be able to. Nervous still but gonna try and get some sleep.

In trouble again

Yesterday morning I went to sleep at around 2am but was having a cough and a fever. I woke up at 3:30 PM to my moms shouts telling me that one of my managers called and said that I had already left since the door to my room was locked.

Flirting much?

Last night, I went to a bar right after my shift cause I needed to take care of my tab there and man did I spend a lot for a whole month of drinking (It wasn't everyday) . It went up to 7000 php. Come to think of it, it isn't really the highest amount I have consumed at a bar.

Anyway, I was there soI decided to get a few bottles to drink. A guy was there and he was staring. I'm no expert, but I ain't naive. I totally know that when people give you that look it's either he wants something you have or they are trying to give out a signal that their interested.

He came up asking my name, complimenting the songs I sang. It was really awkward but at the same time flattering. I just kept smiling and had my classic flirt moves. By the end of my 3rd beer, I informed him that I was going to go home and he kept asking me to stay while I waited for my bill.

Since I was adamant on going home, he agreed but asked if he could take me to the other side of the street and wait till I got a ride.

My mind was spinning. Was he really in to me? I agreed and we walked to the corner. Before I rode a jeep he held my hand and kissed me on the cheek. He told me he might not be going to the bar for a long time and said we should meet outside. I was happy and said "Yeah" and that I'd text him. I got in a cab and then I remembered.. "Dumbass! I forgot to ask for his number."

What I've always wanted to be.

I guess being raised as a Filipino and growing up with their values, I had been raised wanting to be a singer or an actor. I know this is something almost all families in the Philippines want for their kids, thinking that being an "Aritist" is a sure way to have an easy life.


I got this from my relatives and I haven't stopped wanting it as well. Now that I'm older, it was now more of a hobby than something I wanted to do professionally. Don't get me wrong. I don't think I'm a good singer nor am I a good actor but I can bring myself to doing what needs to be done.


I have been so enjoying myself that I was going to karaoke bars a lot and though people may say that they like my voice, I don't take it in and add it to my ego but I try to be humble.


I had tried joining one contest in my life and it was more just for fun and just to say I tried. I didn't win but the experience itself taught me a lot.


Bottom line: If you want something try it. If you're passionate about doing something, work in achieving it. Give it you're all. Who knows, you might just make it and be the next big thing. ^___^

Loss and heartache

Today, I awoke and read an SMS about my close friend's father who had passed away in the wee hours of the night. I was heart broken as it reminded me of when my father passed and how it greatly affected the shaping of my life and who I am today.

Partying on a budget

Yesterday, I went to a friend's birthday party. The night before, he asked me to help him count the number of beers and drinks that came out. However, I arrived late and the only thing I could do is do a head count on people that arrived.


END RESULT: Over the budget

Being alone…

All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone. 

- Jean de la Bruyere

I recently discovered the true meaning of this phrase as I do have the tendency to be depressed when I ain’t around anyone. Thinking that my life ain’t complete without anyone with me. I have nearly gotten to the suicidal point (figuratively speaking).