Dating Game??? Whatevs...

I don't know the first real thing about the dating game. I don't know how to talk to a specific person and connect. I just think you have to go to person by person and do the best you can with people in general.
Jason Schwartzman

As I have stated in recent posts, I haven’t been in the whole dating scene and in a relationship in a while. After the whole failed attempt with a person who lived 5to 6 hours away, I have tried to stay away from the whole thing and focus on my career.

A typical move I guess by a person who had been torn up and hurt, but it was mostly a choice that I don’t regret. I was able to go through work well and I even got promoted. I was content and had fun just being this way. This was until a few days ago.

There’s a site which I used to be a member of until my long distance relationship called to sever any ties to the said site. Due to friends that egged me on in to re-opening my account did the problems begin.

Reopening the account, opened me up to the whole dating scene. I had met up with a few people and they turned up to be cool, but not really the relationship type. I ain’t sure why but it only turned out to be sex and I may be in to the whole shit, but I was looking for something more.

Then, Mr. N arrived. I have known him for awhile and had kinda been an ass to him, but this person had been a bigger ass to me. He had left so abruptly and totally disappeared on me, which made me furious with him before. Anyways, He messaged and we quickly rekindled the whole “I’m happy when I’m with you” and the “I feel so comfortable with you”. But this didn’t last long.

It was a Sunday night and I had gone to Starbucks Madrigal Park to meet a few friends. However, no one showed up and I was left all alone. I started to SMS everyone I was close to and I invited them to come over and just chill. I then thought of asking Mr. N. He immediately replied and said he was going. As the wifi wasn’t working there, I told him to meet me at McDonald’s instead.

I wasn’t hungry, but it would have been totally rude of me to stay there and not order anything. I got a Nuggets meal with twister fries. When he arrived it was like seeing a vision of an oasis in the desert. He smiled and said hi and I nodded and asked if he wanted to move to where we could smoke. He agreed and we ended up staying all the way up to 5:30am. Given that I had only 3 hours to sleep.

The whole day was fantastic. I was able to go through the entire day without feeling the slightest bit sleepy. We had spoken about meeting once I got out, as he was on his way to work when I get out. It was raining and my friends and I were chatting when I saw him. Man, was it awesome, another day of meeting my angel (or so I thought).

After that day, it was constant talks over the phone and he was planning to meet up that Friday. He was on leave to go and meet with his friends from high school and was going to meet me right after. I was hesitant about this as I knew that if I were to do the same thing, I would have stayed with my friends whom I hadn’t seen for a long time. I was right. He cancelled on me and said we could meet the next night instead. I was so disappointed, but trying to be all understanding I couldn’t say anything.

That night was just terrible. If it weren’t for some old friends I met I wouldn’t have been able to cope. I sang my lungs out that night.

On Saturday, we didn’t meet up. He said he was prepping for work as his boss asked him to go. I was fine with this. I wasn’t going to let myself be disappointed again. Not knowing what I could do. I went to Fastbites. Just to maybe get a glimpse of him and make all the bad feelings go away. To my dismay I didn’t get to see him.

I was tired. I went home, took a shower and texted him. No reply. No call. Nothing. A lot of things came to mind. Did I do something? Did I say something? Was he disappearing on me again? I felt like I was going mad. This all stopped when a guy on Facebook, who I had known longer than Mr. N, messaged me saying that any person would be lucky to have me and that I wasn't to worry.

This gave me a lot of strength to take anything. I’m happy Mr. N was in my life. Now, if he doesn’t stay, it wouldn’t because I didn’t try. I reclosed my account from that blasted site and have now come to realize that I maybe ready but not all people are like me. I will try to be open minded.

I’m now reminded of what Mr. N told me. “Don’t settle for second best” Nice thing to say I guess it was never intended that he was the thing that was second best.

Thank you Mr. N. You have once again taught me a lot. =)