I haven't been blogging for a really long time and this blog is turning out to be more like an online diary for me.
My emotions have now gotten to the point of me wanting to write something again.
Quick recap of the current situation. I am now living in another house with a person who has been my partner for a year and five months. Another emotional roller coaster is the best way to describe it.
We are so different and this used to be something that made us closer. However, now it is getting to the point where I question if I made the right decision.
Let's start last week Friday when I asked him if he had plans for that night. He replied he didn't and that he was gonna just stay home. Then when i was at work said that one of his colleagues was asking him to go out with her.
I said if it was okay that he didn't and he said it was. Everything was fine after that, or so i thought... Last night he informed me that he was going to a wake and said that he would be going with colleagues. This was fine, but being the curious type, i asked a lot of questions.he answered these and that was that. Until this morning.
I got home at around 8:15 and found him sleeping. This is very normal as I work the graveyard shift and usually come home to him sleeping or snoring. I cuddled with him a bit and let him doze of. He woke saying he was hungry and asked if i could cook something for breakfast, so i did and after eating went back up to the room.
When he followed, i remembered about the talk of him going out tonight and I asked if he was going to go and drink. He said with an irritated voice that he was going to a wake and me thinking of that was absurd. I was merely referencing my family wakes as we usually had my uncles drinking on one side.
He got angry at my questions that me asking him to stay home was a very big thing and not something that was over. I ended saying that i won't ever be asking him anymore questions. and that his thoughts of me making excuses is a question of him believing me.
Now i really don't know what to think. I'm so close to calling it quits, but knowing him he'll only take it as my loss and not do a thing to win me back.
I hate feeling this way, but I'm at the border of making a decision I have been avoiding that past few months.
